News Flash: Israel Nukes Ecuadorean Consulate in London after Jeffrey Ghoulberg Posts "Top Secret" Information Eichmann Holed Up in Basement; Ban Ki-Moon Expresses "Grave Concern" over Jewish Janitor Trapped In Consulate Boiler Room; Netanyahu Demands Apology from Correa Plus $60 Trillion in Holocaust Compensation (or Half-Dozen Burritos); UK Nukes Argentina After It Grants Asylum to Assange's Radioactive Corpse.