NEWS FLASH! Chris Matthews was rushed to Bellevue Hospital after being found prone in Central Park. Witnesses on the scene said Matthews was butt naked, his hair disheveled, his face covered in his own saliva, his body reeking of a foul odor (apparently he did a #2 on himself), screaming hysterically, “It’s over, it’s over. Hitler captured France, Stalin’s death squads are everywhere. They’re coming to take me away, ha, ha! They coming to take me away!” MSNBC has put Matthews on temporary leave, to be replaced as chief political analyst by Alfalfa.

February 24, 2020

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