The Rabbi is leaving!
Saturday morning service, the rabbi announced that he was planning to leave for a larger congregation that would pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation.
No one wants him to leave because he is so popular. Fred Shapiro, who owns several car dealerships in Venice and Sarasota, stands up and proclaims:
“If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children! The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.
Saul Cohen, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says, “If the rabbi will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free college education for his children!”
More sighs and loud applause.
Estelle Rubin, age 88, stands and announces with a smile: “If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex.”
There is total silence.
The rabbi, blushing, asks her: “Mrs. Rubin, you’re a wonderful and holy dy. Whatever possessed you to say that?”
Estelle’s 90-year old husband, Abe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:
“Well, I just asked my husband how we could help and he said:
‘Fuck him!’ “