Barking Yenta Dame Margaret (Hodge) Tells Packed News Conference: “I Obey My … Uh … I mean… Israel’s Leader: I’m leaving for the Philippines.” Guardian (5 September 2018)

September 6, 2018

In Blog News

Barking Yenta Dame Margaret (Hodge) Tells Packed News Conference: “I Obey My … Uh … I mean… Israel’s Leader: I’m leaving for the Philippines.”  Guardian (5 September 2018)


At a packed news conference, Barking Yenta Margaret Hodge praised Prime Minister Netanyahu’s embrace of Philippine president Rodrigo Duterte.


She then shocked reporters: “I’m auto-deporting to the Philippines.”


A reporter asked if she felt safe going there after Duterte said “As long as there are many beautiful women, there will be more rape cases.”


Acknowledging that she would probably be a prime target (disrespectful guffaws could be heard in the room), the Barking Yenta continued.


“You see, Duterte visited Yad Vashem, and my family are Holocaust survivors.”


But as a hush swept over the crowd, a reporter challenged her:


“Hitler didn’t come to power until 1934, and most historians date the Holocaust, or systematic extermination of the Jews, from around 1941.  But your family left Germany for England in 1930 for business reasons.  So didn’t your family escape not survive the Holocaust?”


“Listen, you dumb goy,” the evidently peeved Barking Yenta retorted, “so long as there was a Holocaust, I’m determined to milk it for every last drop.  And for your information, I’m a Second Generation Holocaust Survivor.”


“But if you’re a Second Generation Holocaust Survivor,” an obviously anti-Semitic reporter chuckled out loud, “that makes Leonardo DiCaprio’s son a Second Generation Titanic Survivor.”


“Hey, the Barking Yenta’s got a point!” another reporter chimed in.  “My mother died of ovarian cancer,” he said, “so I’m a Second Generation Ovarian Cancer Survivor, aren’t I?”


(A bewildered murmur could be heard in the room.)


“That’s why I’m getting the fucking hell out of the fucking UK.  I can already smell the chimney smoke.  Not only did my family survive the Holocaust, not only am I a Second Generation Holocaust Survivor, but now I am also a First Generation Pre-Survivor of fucking Jeremy Corbyn’s Second Holocaust.”


While the Barking Yenta was exiting the room in a huff, a reporter put to her one last question.


“According to historian Raul Hilberg, the Nazis intended not only to exterminate Jews but also ugly people.  Doesn’t that make you a Double Second Generation Holocaust Survivor?”