NEWS FLASH! BRITISH DAILY MAIL REVEALS THAT CORBYN NAMED HIS POODLE "AUSCHWITZ"! NEWS FLASH! SIMON WIESENTHAL CENTER TRACES CORBYN'S DNA BACK TO HITLER'S BUNKER! NEWS FLASH! JEWISH CHRONICLE REPORTS THAT HIDDEN ITEM IN LABOUR MANIFESTO ALLOCATES $10 MILLION TO GAS CHAMBERS IN LONDON! NEWS FLASH: WHISTLE-BLOWER TELLS DAILY MAIL THAT CORBYN IS GROWING SHORT MOUSTACHE AND EXTENDS HIS ARM AT SEVENTY DEGREE ANGLE WHEN SHAVING! NEWS FLASH! RABBI HIER REVEALS HE'S NOT A PAID ISRAELI AGENT. NEWS FLASH! BOARD OF DEPUTIES OF BRITISH JEWS REVEAL THAT THEY ARE LOYAL TO THE UK.