In a speech reminiscing on his life's work, Sir Peres remembers playing with Sir Lancelot in the neighborhood park and going to cricket games with Sir Robin Hood. He also remembers fighting in the 100-Years War, 30-Years War, and War of the Roses. Indeed, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, Sir Peres hasn't missed a single war in the last 2,500 years. (He reportedly urged the British to use cluster bombs during the Boer War.) At the end of his speech, Sir Peres announced plans to run for prime minister in the year 2995. In a brief scuffle that marred the occasion, a member of the audience attempted a citizen's arrest of Gordon Brown and David Miliband for practicing necrophilia. Brown and Miliband denied charges that they spent the night with Sir Peres.

Sir Peres

10.23.2008 | Yedioth Ahronoth (back page)
by Itamar Eichner

President Shimon Peres is expected to be granted a knighthood by Queen Elizabeth II of England in recognition of his contribution to peace and to Israeli-British relations.

In the course of Peres’s visit to the UK , which will begin on November 18, the president will meet with British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and British Foreign Secretary David Miliband.

One of the peaks of Peres’s visit is expected to be his speech before the two houses of the British Parliament.

Peres is also scheduled to visit Oxford University , where he will speak to 1,000 students. He will also meet with university leaders and will call on them to desist from the academic boycott of Israel .

Peres is also scheduled to visit the City in London , where he will begin trade.

Final details about the president’s visit are still being worked out between London and Jerusalem .

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